Close to the Edge

I feel so close to the edge. It's only a step away. A shuffle of my feet, and I will fall. I'm so close, but something keeps pulling me back. I don't know what to call this something. Maybe it has no name, but it is there for a reason or purpose. I have grown closer to the edge over this past year. Things, people, emotion, etc., it all pushes me a little bit more. Bit by bit, I am pushed closer to the edge. But can I really give up? And if I do, what will that prove? Nothing. It will just prove that I wanted to give in, and it will let them all believe what they thought in the first place. That I'm not strong enough to live and to survive. But they are wrong. I AM strong enough to SURVIVE. I AM strong enough to LIVE. I will prove them wrong. I will not only survive, but I will live. I will do what is best for me from now on. I have given this thought, and have come to the decision that it is right. This is what I need. I need to do something for myself. Even if it means disappointed them in the end. Even if it means hurting them in the end. I will find a way for us all to live in peace. For us all to get want we need and want. It will happen. I will see this thru. I will not stay this close to the edge anymore.

I Miss Who You Were..

I hate missing you. It's like a part of me that is uncontrollable. But the fact it, I don't miss who you are now. I miss the person you were. Before you started letting things get to you and change you for the worse. Before people effected you more than usual. You were one of the few people who I could talk to and who in return you could talk to too. What happened to make me lose you? What happened to you that was so terrible? You think you had it rough, but you were the golden boy. The child who could do no wrong, but did it all wrong. You screwed up again and again, but they still all took you back with opening arms. They loved you. I loved you. But what can I say now, that I hate you? I don't hate you. I hate what you have become.

Remember the Good Times

      When you lose someone it's never easy. As humans, we tend to get our minds stuck on what we have lost or feelings of loss. You realize you won't ever get them back, but instead of staying on that thought...think instead of the times you had together. The laughs, the crazy rides, random hugs, and how much they meant or mean to you. Never forget. They gave you some great times that are worth remembering. So instead of trashing those memories with hateful thoughts or words, remember them with a smile on your face and love in your heart. Because we all live, but we should never live with regrets. Now again, I realize this is my own "personal opinion", but then again, who doesn't have one of those. Go live and love every part of life. Even when parts of life try to bring you down. Remember the Good Times.

It Will Come Back to You

          Less than a day to go now. I look back and realize that even though my life has not been long, I have learned a lot. Being strong doesn't mean you can't cry. Being human doesn't mean you are invincible. It means you are prone to make mistakes. And love, well love is never a sure thing. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't love when given the chance.

       "Whatever you give to life, it gives you back. Do not hate anybody. The hatred which comes out from you will someday comeback to you. Love others. And Love will comeback to you." ~ Quote on Picture

Love Thy Neighbor as You Should Love Yourself

         I wonder if we ever find what we all want out of life. Of course we try to find what we need, but what about the things we want? The things we secretly crave, desire, and dream for. Those are the ones worth asking and searching for. They may be the reasons we try so hard day after day. Because we slowly are getting closer to reaching for the things we want. I wish I knew what I wanted out of life, but I never gave myself time to think on it. I always wanted things and gave them to others. I was more worried about others' happiness than my own. But now I realize that although it is a noble thing to do, it is not the way to live your life. Your life should not be about others all the time. You have to give yourself time. Because you cannot love or be loved until you truly love yourself. I wish I had all the answers to everything in life. But, I don't and never will. So instead, we continue living, doing the best we can. Because in the end, that's all that counts. You tried, you lived, and maybe you even loved. ♥