Like Father, Like Son

He doesn't know what his words do to me. They are like poison. Like a knife, just pinching the skin at first. Then they cut deeper and deeper until not much is left. Why doesn't he get it? He hurts more than he understands. One day things are going great; then he will come home and things will go the exact opposite. I want to say something, but I hold back. One day though, I will snap and yell until he gets it. He will not have what is left of me. I've given up enough for him. For everyone. I continuously sacrifice to help for the greater good, but this is not the greater good. It is not the greater good when you yourself become the item of destruction and ridicule. It is not worth it, and he is not worth it. He is no longer the same. He is no longer my brother.

Black and White Shows Won't Be Forgotten

Today is Lucille Ball's 100th birthday. I remember growing up watching the well know TV show "I Love Lucy." It was comical, and full of good humor. She didn't need to make crude remarks. Her own humorous ideas made me laugh with each one that she came up with. Seeing the google image that's a tribute for her birthday makes me want to turn the channel to TvLand and watch "I Love Lucy" one last time. Not many people watch good TV anymore. It's mostly trash that's on now. What's happened to all the good shows? I ain't changing what I like just cause you idiots won't play it anymore. I'll stick with the good old black and white shows.

I Blame My Gypsy Soul

I always find myself longing to go. To leave. To travel. Is that me or is it something else just building up inside me? I have this invisible pull to pick up and drive. No destination. No map. Just me and the need to fill that void. What is it or is there no name for this pull? Am I the only one feeling this or are there more like me? I need to know. I have to know. Will I figure it out or will it always be taunting me in the back of my mind? Maybe I need to see what's out there. That may be all this is. Just a hunger for the world. Not the world in its ugliness, but the world in its beauty.

I Root For the Underdog

I've always felt some strange sense of empathy or compassion towards people who are referred to as "underdogs." They use everything they have and give what they've got no matter what the outcome may be. That is also probably why I fell in love with the movie "Captain America." Here is a guy, and all he wants to do is fight for his country like every other man out there is doing. Yet, they say he is not strong or healthy enough to fight. In the movie, he portrays every ounce of what a true fighter should be like. He is not proud, nor does he boast when he becomes the nation's hope in winning the war. Captain America is the epitome of what every man or fighter should be like. Not just because he was misjudged and called an "underdog." But because his heart and his intentions are pure.

"Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul..?"

Music is the one thing that will always bring me back to myself. No matter how many times I lose myself along in life, it always brings me back. Tonight, I listened to some of my favorite Classic Rock pieces. Some included: American Pie, Free Fallin', Sister Christian, Born in the U.S.A, Jack and Diane, Desperado, Bohemian Rhapsody, and many others. It is the classics that remind me that music was born before my time, and yet I continue to love it in all of its' forms. Whether it is classic rock, rock, country(don't laugh), techno(yes, I listen to techno), rap, or the other millions of genres(and they must actually be music). (No bubble gum pop allowed) Music is a basic component that fulfills a need when nothing or no one else can.

The Queen of Hearts is Always Your Best Bet

I figured out the major gist of what exactly my problems are. I have none. I just take on others problems in an attempt to help them. This in turn actually causes more trouble and stress for myself. I don't know why I even just now realized it. But how do you suddenly stop helping people? I don't think I can. So, what in turn should I do? I cannot continue doing what I am doing, but I also will find a balance. Because I want to help people. Tonight, there was yelling, but instead of sitting there like I usually do, I said something. I responded. I stood up. I said what I thought. And I didn't care. I'm glad I said what I said and I don't want to take it back.